if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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