Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
it's great music for shaving your balls
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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