After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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