Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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