oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
