i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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