If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
