I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
