Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
