you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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