there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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