But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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