I just threw up on my dentist
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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