so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
