You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
