I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
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