Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
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