Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
