guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Randomize
