So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
