I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
