i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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