Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm just crazy horny about you
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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