talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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