my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
