if i can run in heels then i can drive
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
