If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
