your thong is hanging out like whoa
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
