Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize