we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
