Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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