I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Randomize
