He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
