are you still at the devil's house?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
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Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
There r osticjed everywhere
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.