you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy