Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center