I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
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he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
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He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.