I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
