Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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