I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
