New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
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