so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I said "one day" and that day is not today
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
