Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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