So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
