The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either way he was missing a nipple.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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