I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
