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i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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