Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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