remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
