Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
