Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
