Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
