i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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