just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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