I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
