just come out here and I will go home with you...
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
