halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
