I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Jerry, you need to find god
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Randomize
