the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
be right there i have to get my cape
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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