I am in a vortex of obligation.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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