we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
