After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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