$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
