so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
one might say we're banned from that church
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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