Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Randomize
