I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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