We're facebook friends in real life
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
