There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize