great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize