Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
