it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Randomize
