what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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