I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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