matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
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once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize